I think it happens accidentally, but it seems like if we’re not intentional about dating our spouse we kind of stop doing it. I talk to a lot of married couples, and very few of them still go on dates with their spouse. If we are being totally honest, I rarely see married couples be affectionate or romantic with each other, and I would like to see this change for a few reasons.
First, romance is good for our marriages. I am not negating the importance of being our spouse’s best friend, that’s huge for a great marriage, but so is romance. The flirting, hand-holding, making eyes from across the room at each other, and they I can’t wait to get in the bedroom hints, kind of marriage. This type of relationship ought not just be reserved for the newlyweds.
Second, and this is a big one, there is an entire generation of young people who are watching you, wondering, is marriage worth it? Is marriage fun? Should I wait to have sex until I’m married? When I was single I wondered all these things (except for the last, I knew that because God said to wait, it was a good idea), but from the looks of most married couples I saw, they didn’t look like they were in love with each other, and they definitely didn’t seem like they were attracted to each other or ever talked about sex.
Some people might not think this is a bad thing but I definitely don’t think it’s a good thing.
I think it’s important at every stage in our marriages that we take time to focus on the romance and the relationship, not just the business of being married or on parenting.
With that said, I have a lot of recommendations on how to date your spouse and how to add in more fun to your dates, but for now I will just talk about three of my favorites…
1. Get Dolled Up
Yes, do your hair, put your make up on, put on your cute dress, wedges, jewelry, perfume, etc. Do you remember how much effort you put into getting ready for a date before you got married? I do. The nerves, anxiety, the hope, I wanted to look real good for my dates with Jon, and I still make that same effort today. When I come down the stairs, ready for our date, I want him to be wowed, and that’s what I am encouraging you to shoot for as well.
2. Be Intentional & Plan A Date Night
All the “experts” say that if it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist. If you just say, “Let’s go on a date soon,” it probably won’t happen (unless lots of nagging is part of your M.O.). Since it’s not part of mine, Jon and I have a recurring date night. For us, it’s Sunday night. We go to church in the morning, have lunch, do a bit of food prep and laundry, then from five o’clock on, it’s date night time. Our boys know not to interrupt us, we actually give them extra time to play Minecraft or watch a movie together during this time so they stay occupied. We also make sure they have a good amount of food for dinner too.
Some people say they aren’t the “planner” type, so the recurring day of the week is super helpful. If you want to mix it up, take turns planning what you will do for your date night. I know we had to make a lot of adjustments during the Covid19 quarantine times and I came up with 4 Seductive Date Night In Ideas to help make your home you new favorite date spot. Get your free copy of my 4 fun date night ideas by clicking on the home page banner.
3. Save Energy For Your Date
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Sorry for the all caps for emphasis, but it is really so important. On your scheduled date nights, do less during the day. Take a nap if you need to, make your kids a simple PB & J dinner, save the laundry for another day, and cut back your DIY projects. By doing less during the day, you will have more energy for whatever kind of fun you will be having on your date night. Wink, wink. 🙂
Tell me, are these ideas new to you? Which do you think will be the hardest for you to do? Do you have a regular date night with your hubby each week? Got any other date night ideas? Please share below, I’d love to hear.
Until we chat again, happy dating!